Reconciliation is a new state of closeness that exists between or among people who were separated because of a transgression committed by one or more of those persons. The state is characterized by prosocial behaviors. Some of the people have likely experienced positive intrapersonal change in the forgiving process. (Sutton & Thomas, 2005, p. 35)
Reconciling is a process of building a relationship between or among people following a transgression that caused a disruption. Reconciling includes various verbal and nonverbal
behavior patterns that suggest no significant transgression will recur. (Sutton & Thomas, 2005, pp. 35-36)
Reconciling is distinct from forgiveness. Forgiveness may be a catalyst that facilitates the process of forgiveness. Forgiveness in psychology is an intrapersonal process whereas reconciliation is necessarily an interpersonal process.
Restoration of an offender does not require either forgiveness or reconciliation. In the context of a person who has committed a serious offense, restoration is a separate concept focused on restoring the offender to a previous status lost due to the offense (e.g., a job, a group membership, a certification or licensure). The restoration need not include forgiveness by the person they offended nor does it require reconciliation between the offender and the person who was offended.
At the heart of reconciliation is an effort to rebuild a broken relationship, which requires trust.
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Worthington's Model of Reconciliation
Everett Worthington's reconciliation model emphasizes the process of rebuilding trust and repairing relationships after conflict or harm. It is closely tied to his work on forgiveness and is often presented alongside his REACH Forgiveness model. Worthington outlines a four-step Bridge to Reconciliation, which includes:
Deciding to reconcile: Both parties must express a willingness to restore the relationship.
Discussing the conflict: Open and honest communication about the harm caused is essential.
Detoxifying the relationship: This involves addressing negative emotions and fostering empathy.
Developing trust: Gradually rebuilding trust through consistent and positive interactions.
Schnabel & Nadler (2008) Needs-Based Model of Reconciliation
This model emphasizes the socio-emotional aspects of reconciliation, focusing on the psychological needs of both victims and perpetrators in post-conflict situations. According to the model:
Victims often experience a loss of power and control due to the harm inflicted upon them. They have a psychological need to restore their sense of empowerment.
Perpetrators, on the other hand, may feel a threat to their moral identity. They have a need to restore their moral image and be reintegrated into the moral community.
The model suggests that reconciliation occurs when these needs are addressed and fulfilled. For example, victims may feel empowered through acknowledgment of their suffering or receiving an apology, while perpetrators may restore their moral image by expressing genuine remorse and seeking forgiveness.
Cite this post APA style
Sutton, G. W. (2025, March 17). Psychology of reconciliation. Psychology concepts and theories. https://suttonpsychology.blogspot.com/2025/03/psychology-of-reconciliation.html*****
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References
Mittelstadt, M. & G. W. Sutton (eds.) (2010) Forgiveness, reconciliation, and restoration: Multidisciplinary studies from a Pentecostal perspective. Pickwick Publications. ISBN: 9781608991945 https://wipfandstock.com/author/geoffrey-w-sutton/
Pop, J. L., Sutton, G.W., & Jones, E.G. (2009). Restoring pastors following a moral failure: The effects of self-interest and group influence, Pastoral Psychology, 57, 275-284.
Shnabel, N., & Nadler, A. (2008). A needs-based model of reconciliation: Satisfying the differential emotional needs of victim and perpetrator as a key to promoting reconciliation. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 94(1), 116–132. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.94.1.116
Sutton, G. W. (2021). Counseling and psychotherapy with Pentecostal and Charismatic Christians: Culture & Research | Assessment & Practice. Sunflower. ISBN-13 : 979-8681036524
Sutton, G. W. (2007). Forgiveness: Psychological theory, research, and practice. [Review of the book, Forgiveness and reconciliation: Theory and application]. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 35, 347-348
Sutton, G. W. (2008). Rwanda remembered: Three faces of forgiveness and reconciliation. The Journal of Pastoral Care & Counseling, 62, 385.
Sutton, G. W. & Jordan, K. (2013). Evaluating attitudes toward clergy restoration: The psychometric properties of two scales. Pastoral Psychology. doi 10.1007/s11089-013-0527-7
Sutton, G. W., Jordan, K., & Worthington, E.L., Jr. (2014). Spirituality, hope, compassion, and forgiveness: Contributions of Pentecostal spirituality to godly love. Journal of Psychology and Christianity, 33, 212-226
Sutton, G. W., McLeland, K. C., Weaks, K. Cogswell, P. E., & Miphouvieng, R. N. (2007). Does gender matter? An exploration of gender, spirituality, forgiveness and restoration following pastor transgressions. Pastoral Psychology. 55, 645-663. doi 10.1007/s11089-007-0072-3
Sutton, G.W., & Thomas, E. K. (2005). Can derailed pastors be restored? Effects of offense and age on restoration. Pastoral Psychology, 53, 583-599.
Sutton, G. W., & Thomas, E. K. (2005). Restoring Christian leaders: How conceptualizations of forgiveness and restoration can influence practice and research. American Journal of Pastoral Counseling, 8, 29-44.
Thomas, E. K., & Sutton, G.W. (2008). Religious leadership failure: Forgiveness, apology, and restitution. Journal of Spirituality in Mental Health, 10, 308-327.
Worthington, E. L., Jr. (2006). Forgiveness and reconciliation: Theory and application. Routledge. https://doi.org/10.4324/9780203942734
Post Author
Geoffrey W. Sutton, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Evangel University, holds a master’s degree in counseling and a PhD in psychology from the University of Missouri-Columbia. His postdoctoral work encompassed education and supervision in forensic and neuropsychology. As a licensed psychologist, he conducted clinical and neuropsychological evaluations and provided psychotherapy for patients in various settings, including schools, hospitals, and private offices. During his tenure as a professor, Dr. Sutton taught courses on psychotherapy, assessment, and research. He has authored over one hundred publications, including books, book chapters, and articles in peer-reviewed psychology journals. His website is https://suttong.com
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