Regret is a common unpleasant emotional
response to a person’s memory of their response to an event or situation, which
they wish had been different. A previous response may have been active or
passive. That is, the person may regret a decision or an action or the failure
to act. Regret is a multidimensional concept including emotion, cognition, and behavior in a social context and sometimes associated with health conditions. At our core, regret may influence our self-esteem, self-concept, and self-identity.
Assessing Regret
The assessment may lead to understanding
the impact of regret and how to benefit from a regretted decision. These
components of regret are the familiar psychological dimensions of functioning
summarized in the SCOPES model where the six letters are an acrostic for six
dimensions as seen below albeit in a different order.
Cognition-
Regret involves thinking about the regretted action or inaction. Examples
include a failure to invest or sell an investment, an action resulting in the
loss of an important relationship or a missed opportunity to develop a
relationship. Excessive thinking about the regret or rumination can result in
considerable distress. Denial can interfere with accepting regret and moving
forward.
Ignorance in the form of avoiding
information about an upcoming event is a common way of dealing with the
potential pain of regret. This phenomenon is referred to as anticipatory regret
(see Gigernzer & Garcia-Retamero, 2017).
Emotion-
Regret is an emotion accompanied by sadness and sorrow. Some stress inducing regrets
lead to feelings of anger and anxiety. Strong emotions can be a catalyst for
action.
Observable behavior-Regret may lead to avoidance of a person or situation in the future
that is connected to the regret. Regret may also lead to engagement in a situation
or relationship in order to avoid a regretted past mistake. In some cases,
people may act to undo the effects of their past regretted actions. And some
people may act in ways to overcompensate for their regrets, which can lead to
burnout. These examples illustrate the influence regret can have on current
behavior.
Physical-When
regret leads to stress then there may be associated biological responses
associated with stress such as headache, muscle tension, fatigue, impaired
sleep, and so forth.
Social-
Regrets often take place in a social context such as the common regret linked
to effects on close relationships such as with romantic partners, parent-child
relationships, and friendships.
Self-
Regrets may affect components of our core sense of self such as our
self-esteem, self-concept, and self-identity.
Managing Regret
Acceptance of
regret may lead to releasing the sorrow and ending the associated re-thinking in
order to focus on present decisions.
Practicing self-compassion can relieve the feelings of distress associated with regretted
decisions. Self-compassion may include taking actions that you enjoy such as a
mini-break from work, sitting in a hot tub, exercise, thinking of personal
accomplishments, and replacing negative self-talk with positive statements.
Begin the process of self-forgiveness.
When a past action resulted in physical or psychological harm then
self-forgiveness may be an appropriate way to let go of the past and move
forward.
Consult a psychotherapist. Sometimes, we may benefit from talking with someone who can guide
us through the process of letting go of regrets.
Regret Theories
Scientists have studied regret and
developed theories to describe the relationship among the variables that cause
regret.
The Temporal Theory of Regret refers
to the tendency to regret actions taken in the short term but regret inaction
in the long term.
Decision Justification Theory suggests people regret choices that appear to lead to worse than
expected outcomes.
The Belonging Theory of Regret is
based on the tendency of people to regret actions that threaten their sense of
belonging.
In behavioral economics, Regret Theory
models choices under conditions of uncertainty and anticipated regret.
References
Gigerenzer,
G., & Garcia-Retamero, R. (2017). Cassandra's regret: The psychology of not
wanting to know. Psychological review, 124(2), 179–196.
https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000055
Loomes,
G., & Sugden, R. (1982). Regret theory: An alternative theory of rational
choice under uncertainty. Economic Journal, 92(368), 805-824.
Morrison,
M., & Roese, N. J. (2011). Regrets of the typical American: Findings from a
nationally representative sample. Social Psychological and Personality
Science, 2(6), 576-583.
Roese,
N. J., & Summerville, A. (2005). What we regret most... and why. Personality
and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(9), 1273-1285.
Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD is Emeritus Professor of Psychology. He retired from a clinical practice and was credentialed in clinical neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. His website is www.suttong.com
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