Psychology of Regret

 

Regret is a common unpleasant emotional response to a person’s memory of their response to an event or situation, which they wish had been different. A previous response may have been active or passive. That is, the person may regret a decision or an action or the failure to act. Regret is a multidimensional concept including emotion, cognition, and behavior in a social context and sometimes associated with health conditions. At our core, regret may influence our self-esteem, self-concept, and self-identity.

Assessing Regret

The assessment may lead to understanding the impact of regret and how to benefit from a regretted decision. These components of regret are the familiar psychological dimensions of functioning summarized in the  SCOPES model  where the six letters are an acrostic for six dimensions as seen below albeit in a different order.

Cognition- Regret involves thinking about the regretted action or inaction. Examples include a failure to invest or sell an investment, an action resulting in the loss of an important relationship or a missed opportunity to develop a relationship. Excessive thinking about the regret or rumination can result in considerable distress. Denial can interfere with accepting regret and moving forward.

Ignorance in the form of avoiding information about an upcoming event is a common way of dealing with the potential pain of regret. This phenomenon is referred to as anticipatory regret (see Gigernzer & Garcia-Retamero, 2017).

Emotion- Regret is an emotion accompanied by sadness and sorrow. Some stress inducing regrets lead to feelings of anger and anxiety. Strong emotions can be a catalyst for action.

Observable behavior-Regret may lead to avoidance of a person or situation in the future that is connected to the regret. Regret may also lead to engagement in a situation or relationship in order to avoid a regretted past mistake. In some cases, people may act to undo the effects of their past regretted actions. And some people may act in ways to overcompensate for their regrets, which can lead to burnout. These examples illustrate the influence regret can have on current behavior.

Physical-When regret leads to stress then there may be associated biological responses associated with stress such as headache, muscle tension, fatigue, impaired sleep, and so forth.

Social- Regrets often take place in a social context such as the common regret linked to effects on close relationships such as with romantic partners, parent-child relationships, and friendships.

Self- Regrets may affect components of our core sense of self such as our self-esteem, self-concept, and self-identity.

Managing Regret

Acceptance of regret may lead to releasing the sorrow and ending the associated re-thinking in order to focus on present decisions.

Practicing self-compassion can relieve the feelings of distress associated with regretted decisions. Self-compassion may include taking actions that you enjoy such as a mini-break from work, sitting in a hot tub, exercise, thinking of personal accomplishments, and replacing negative self-talk with positive statements.

Begin the process of self-forgiveness. When a past action resulted in physical or psychological harm then self-forgiveness may be an appropriate way to let go of the past and move forward.

Consult a psychotherapist. Sometimes, we may benefit from talking with someone who can guide us through the process of letting go of regrets.

Regret Theories

Scientists have studied regret and developed theories to describe the relationship among the variables that cause regret.

The Temporal Theory of Regret refers to the tendency to regret actions taken in the short term but regret inaction in the long term.

Decision Justification Theory suggests people regret choices that appear to lead to worse than expected outcomes.

The Belonging Theory of Regret is based on the tendency of people to regret actions that threaten their sense of belonging.

In behavioral economics, Regret Theory models choices under conditions of uncertainty and anticipated regret.

 Cite this post

Sutton, G. W. (2024, January 2). Psychology of regret. Psychology Concepts and Theories. Retrieved from https://suttonpsychology.blogspot.com/2024/01/psychology-of-regret.html

References

Gigerenzer, G., & Garcia-Retamero, R. (2017). Cassandra's regret: The psychology of not wanting to know. Psychological review, 124(2), 179–196. https://doi.org/10.1037/rev0000055

Loomes, G., & Sugden, R. (1982). Regret theory: An alternative theory of rational choice under uncertainty. Economic Journal, 92(368), 805-824.

Morrison, M., & Roese, N. J. (2011). Regrets of the typical American: Findings from a nationally representative sample. Social Psychological and Personality Science, 2(6), 576-583.

Roese, N. J., & Summerville, A. (2005). What we regret most... and why. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 31(9), 1273-1285.

 Sutton, G. W. (2024, January 2). Psychology of regret. Psychology Concepts and Theories. Retrieved from https://suttonpsychology.blogspot.com/2024/01/psychology-of-regret.html

Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD is Emeritus Professor of Psychology. He retired from a clinical practice and was credentialed in clinical neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. His website is  www.suttong.com

 

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Imposter syndrome- psychology

Imposter syndrome refers to a constellation of features experienced by competent people who doubt their skills and abilities. They feel insecure and work harder to overcome these feelings. They fear being embarrassed or exposed as fraudulent.

Read more

Langford, J., & Clance, P. R. (1993). The imposter phenomenon: Recent research findings regarding dynamics, personality and family patterns and their implications for treatment. Psychotherapy: theory, research, practice, training, 30(3), 495. Link: Langford.pdf (paulineroseclance.com)

Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD is Emeritus Professor of Psychology. He retired from a clinical practice and was credentialed in clinical neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. His website is  www.suttong.com

 

See Geoffrey Sutton’s books on   AMAZON       or  GOOGLE STORE

Follow on    FACEBOOK   Geoff W. Sutton    

   TWITTER  @Geoff.W.Sutton    

You can read many published articles at no charge:

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Dr. Sutton’s posts are for educational purposes only. See a licensed mental health provider for diagnoses, treatment, and consultation.

Sexual Self-Esteem

 

Sexual self-esteem is a subjective evaluation of one’s sexuality and is a contributing factor to global self-esteem.

Sexual self-esteem has been operationally defined by the Sexual Self-Esteem Scale (Zeanah and Schwarz (1996). The items in the scale are organized into five subscales. The following names of the five subscales reveal the thinking of some researchers about the features of sexual self-esteem.

Skill and experience

Attractiveness

Control

Moral judgment

Adaptiveness

Melanie Oattes and Alia Offman (2007) found that high levels of global self-esteem are associated with high levels of sexual self-esteem, which was consistent with the work of others. They also found that sexual self-esteem contributed to understanding sexual communication beyond the contribution of global self-esteem. Sexual self-esteem was measured with the Sexual Self-Esteem Scale and global self-esteem was measured with the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965).

 

References

Oattes, M. K., & Offman, A. (2007). Global self-esteem and sexual self-esteem as predictors of sexual communication in intimate relationships. Canadian Journal of Human Sexuality, 16(3–4), 89–100.

Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the adolescent self-image. Princeton University Press

Zeanah, P.D., & Schwarz, J.C. (1996). Reliability and validity of the sexual self-esteem inventory for women. Assessment, 3, 1-15

 Image note: Bing filter indicated free to share and use.

Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD is Emeritus Professor of Psychology. He retired from a clinical practice and was credentialed in clinical neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. His website is  www.suttong.com

 

See Geoffrey Sutton’s books on   AMAZON       or  GOOGLE STORE

Follow on    FACEBOOK   Geoff W. Sutton    

   TWITTER  @Geoff.W.Sutton    

You can read many published articles at no charge:

  Academia   Geoff W Sutton     ResearchGate   Geoffrey W Sutton 

 

Dr. Sutton’s posts are for educational purposes only. See a licensed mental health provider for diagnoses, treatment, and consultation.

 

 

Self-control and psychology

 

Weighing in 2023
Geoffrey W Sutton and Bing AI

Self-control is the ability to regulate one's thoughts, feelings, and behavior. The capacity for self-control varies. High levels of self-control allow people to restrain impulsive behavior so they can pursue longer term goals.

Self-control research may be found under the concepts of willpower and self-discipline.

Research by June Tangney and her team (2004) found that college students with high self-discipline also had higher grade-point averages, self-esteem, and relation skills and lower binge eating and alcohol abuse than other students.

Experiments by Rounding et al. (2012) provided evidence of a religious priming effect—religious primes increase self-control on self-control tasks. 

For a summary of research, see Willpower by Baumeister & Tierney (2011). 

For a book summary, including a few tips from their work,  see this Willpower book review.

Measuring Self-Control

Self-Control, Single Item (SCSI)

The single-item self-control scale uses an 11-point scale to quantify a person’s perception of their self-control. The item (How much self-control do you have?) was studied along with similar items by Wanja Wolff and others (2022) in a large US adult sample. 

The Brief Self-Control Scale (BSCS) is a 13-item measure of trait self-control. It is a shortened version of the 36-item self-control scale. The items are rated on a five-point scale. In their original publication, Tangney and others (2004) documented high internal consistency and test-retest values.

References

Baumeister, R.F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. New York: Penguin Press   AMAZON LINK

Rounding, K., Lee, A., Jacobson, J. A., & Ji, L.-J. (2012). Religion Replenishes Self-Control. Psychological Science, 23(6), 635-642. https://doi.org/10.1177/0956797611431987


Tangney, J., Baumeister, R., & Boone, A.L. (2004). High self-control predicts good adjustment, less pathology, better grades, and interpersonal success. Journal of Personality, 72, 271–324



Wolff, W., Bieleke, M., Englert, C., Bertrams, A., Schüler, J., & Martarelli, C. S. (2022). A single item measure of self-control – validation and location in a nomological network of self-control, boredom, and if-then planning. Social Psychological Bulletin, 17, 1-22. https://doi.org/10.32872/spb.7453

Geoffrey W. Sutton, PhD is Emeritus Professor of Psychology. He retired from a clinical practice and was credentialed in clinical neuropsychology and psychopharmacology. His website is  www.suttong.com

 

See Geoffrey Sutton’s books on   AMAZON       or  GOOGLE STORE

Follow on    FACEBOOK   Geoff W. Sutton    

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You can read many published articles at no charge:

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Dr. Sutton’s posts are for educational purposes only. See a licensed mental health provider for diagnoses, treatment, and consultation.

Self-Enhancement Motive

 The Self-Enhancement Motive is the desire to learn favorable or flattering news about oneself.

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Self-acceptance

 Self-acceptance is the evaluation of yourself as good without making any changes. You are acceptable as you are right now.

Self-Esteem

Self-esteem is a dimension of self-concept. Self-esteem is the value people place on themselves. We learn our self-esteem in various social contexts. Self-esteem may also be called self-worth.

Self-esteem is generally viewed as a person’s evaluation of their overall self-worth or value, which may include some informal and idiosyncratic summing up of intelligence, skills, likeability, appearance, and other personal attributes considered important in their society. People with high self-esteem see themselves as valuable contributors to their group, culture, or more broadly, their nation. Although self-esteem is subjective, scores on measures of self-esteem provide a basis for identifying what constitutes the commonly used terms of high and low self-esteem. A general finding is that people are motivated to maintain high self-esteem and defend one’s self esteem against challenges. A large portion of the recent interest in self-esteem is related to the interest in terror management theory (TMT), which posits that self-esteem functions as a buffer against threats to one’s existence, anxiety, and meaninglessness. 

Recent theorizing suggests self-esteem develops in the interplay of children with early attachment figures. In this view, attachment theory and terror management theory converge as self-esteem develops in the context of close relationships and serves a protective function (See Pyszczynski et al., 2004 for a review). A widely used measure of self-esteem is the Rosenberg Self-Esteem Scale (Rosenberg, 1965).

Related Posts

Lifespan Self-esteem Scale

Self-Concept

References

Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why Do People Need Self-Esteem? A Theoretical and Empirical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 435–468. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435

Rosenberg, M. (1965). Society and the adolescent self-image. Princeton, NJ: Princeton University Press. http://dx.doi.org/10.1515/9781400876136

Self-Concept and Self-Identity

 

Who Am I?

SELF-CONCEPT

The concept, self-concept, has been used by psychologists to refer to a mental construct known as the self. The self or self-concept is our view of who we are, which is based upon the content of our memories about ourselves. The self-concept is not a total perspective on ourselves but rather a view that depends on information in our awareness. Some of the information about ourselves consists of private knowledge and other views are based on feedback from others in numerous social contexts throughout the time of our life. Thus, self-concept is both a personal mental construct and a social construct.

Self-concept is both a personal and a social construct.

   Self-concept begins to develop before children have speech as evident from studies of children responding to themselves in mirrors. They retain an image of themselves. Our self-image is part of our self-concept.

   As in the SCOPES model where the first S represents the self, the self, or self-concept, is a mental construct that organizes information about ourselves and draws on information from the remaining four personal dimensions represented as COPE (Cognitions, Observable behavior patterns, Physiology, Emotions) all within a social context, the final S.

Self-concept, Sutton, G. W. 2023

SELF-IDENTITY

   Self-identity is like a role we enact as part of a social group. Self-identity is who we are (self-concept) in a social context. Our roles include such common identity-creating experiences as student, worker, lover, parent, child, and so forth. The social context where we live out these roles demands we act in certain ways. By way of these demands or expectations, social groups shape our identity within the group and thereby influence our self-concept. Thus, schools, religious and social organizations, businesses, political groups, friendship groups, couple dyads, and families influence our multiple identities. Note that some writers appear to use the terms self-concept and self-identity interchangeably. I take the view that self-identities are components of one's self-concept.

Self-identity, Sutton, G. W. 2023

   Self-identities exist in a network and vary in degree of saliency in response to a social context. A psychologist providing psychotherapy may get word that their child has been taken to a hospital. The startling event makes the parent role salient and temporarily sets aside the career identity.

Most people are religious or spiritual. For many, their spirituality is a highly important aspect of who they are. Thus, we see people clarifying their religious or spiritual identity on social media sites. They proclaim the beliefs and values of their religious group and sometimes challenge the beliefs and values of those who would discredit their faith. In the process, we learn the importance of their spiritual identity.

   Race and ethnic identities are also very important to functioning in many cultures. Skin color, clothing, physical appearance, language and accent are some of the ways society identifies people as part of a particular group labeled as a race or ethnicity. In some contexts, laws, policies, and finances are tied to being a member of an identified racial or ethnic group, which draws attention to those who are in one group and those who are not.

   Gender Identity is a recent topic with an expanding literature. The terminology has changed rapidly as scientists and clinicians listened to people's experiences about ways to understand gender identity and how people with different gender identities interact with others, which includes sexual orientation.

   Identity theory considers how groups and people interact in a dynamic way shaping the self and the group. An example of this interaction can be seen in the interaction of political and religious identities influencing morality (e.g., see Sutton et al., 2019).

SELF-EFFICACY

Self-efficacy is the perception that a person can act in a way to achieve a desired goal. In 1977, Albert Bandura of Stanford University wrote an extensive article on the theory of self-efficacy. He proposed that our perceptions of self-efficacy come from four sources: “performance accomplishments, vicarious experience, verbal persuasion, and physiological states (191).” Click to read more on Self-Efficacy.

BOOKS BY ALBERT BANDURA ON SELF-EFFICACY & RELATED CONCEPTS

SELF-ESTEEM

Self-esteem is the value people place on themselves. We learn our value in various social contexts. We are better at somethings and not other things. Self-esteem appears to influence performance in various life tasks. There are several measures of self-esteem--see links below.

SELF-AWARENESS

Our awareness of various dimensions of ourselves. The focus of our awareness varies throughout a day. When focused on some activity, we ignore other aspects of our functioning. For example, some of us can ignore pain when we are busily engaged in the pursuit of some goal.

Notes

Note that psychological scientists have not been consistent in the way they use terms like self and self-concept. This lack of consistency is why I recommend thinking of the self and self-concept as equivalent. In addition, the terms self and self-concept have been criticized for being vague or as philosophers say, they are “fuzzy concepts.” Moreover, some clinicians see people as having multiple self-concepts, which may be akin to experiences of people presenting as if they have multiple personalities or, functioning in dissociative states. Regardless of the disagreements, there is a large body of research about self-concepts and related terms and some evidence indicates that aspects of our self-concepts influence behavior.

To learn more about self-concept and self-identity, see the review by Oyserman et al. (2012). Also, see many of the books and articles by Roy F. Baumeister and his colleagues.

References

Oyserman, D. & Elmore, K. & Smith, G. (2012) Self, self-concept, and

identity. J. Tangney and M. Leary (Eds). The Handbook of Self and Identity, 2nd

Edition, pp 69-104, New York, NY: Guilford Press.

 

Sutton, G. W., Kelly, H. L., & Huver, M. (2019). Political identities, religious identity, and the pattern of moral foundations among conservative Christians. Journal of Psychology and Theology, 48, pp. 169-187. Online October 16, 2019. Issue published September 1, 2020. ResearchGate Link     Academia Link

 

Related Concept Posts

 

Self-concept, Identity, and Politics

 

Self-Efficacy

 

SCOPES model

 

Related Scales and Questionnaires

 

Personal Self-Concept Questionnaire

Academic Self-Efficacy Scale for Students

Academic Self-Efficacy Scale

New General Self-Efficacy Scale

Gender-Identity-Dysphoria Questionnaire

Racism Scale

Ambivalent Sexism Inventory

Measuring Spiritual Beliefs

Measuring Spiritual Practices

Measuring Religious Fundamentalism

 

 

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Terror Management Theory

Terror Management Theory (TMT) was proposed by psychological scientists Jeff Greenberg, Sheldon Solomon, and Tom Pyszczynski. 

The theory posits that people manage the terror inherent in their awareness of their own death by investing in that which is more durable. They experience conflict between the instinctual urge to live and the reality of death.

Research findings indicate that when people are reminded of their mortality (Mortality Salience, MS), they create or use an anxiety buffer. Becoming a part of a meaningful group helps cope with death awareness.

Many religious teachings guide people to "life after life," which in itself is a phrase that omits the more common, "life after death." Others find meaning in their children and grandchildren, the possessions they leave behind, and contributions to their nations.

Terror Management Theory is related to self-esteem. Many people assess their self-esteem or self-worth by a comparison to their culture's way of defining worth.

Here is a quote from the theorists' 2015 summary of research.


Terror management theory posits that human awareness of the inevitability of death exerts a profound influence on diverse aspects of human thought, emotion, motivation, and behavior. People manage the potential for anxiety that results from this awareness by maintaining: (1) faith in the absolute validity of their cultural worldviews and (2) self-esteem by living up to the standards of value that are part of their worldviews. In this chapter, we take stock of the past 30 years of research and conceptual development inspired by this theory. After a brief review of evidence supporting the theory's fundamental propositions, we discuss extensions of the theory to shed light on: (1) the psychological mechanisms through which thoughts of death affect subsequent thought and behavior; (2) how the anxiety-buffering systems develop over childhood and beyond; (3) how awareness of death influenced the evolution of mind, culture, morality, and religion; (4) how death concerns lead people to distance from their physical bodies and seek solace in concepts of mind and spirit; and (5) the role of death concerns in maladaptive and pathological behavior. (Abstract)


One recent root of TMT can be found in the book, The Denial of Death by cultural anthropologist, Ernest Becker. Becker draws on earlier work about death anxiety. See my review (Sutton, 2015) for quotes from Becker's book and applications to religion.

Related posts

Worldview

References

Pyszczynski, T., Greenberg, J., Solomon, S., Arndt, J., & Schimel, J. (2004). Why Do People Need Self-Esteem? A Theoretical and Empirical Review. Psychological Bulletin, 130(3), 435–468. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.3.435

Pyszczynski, T., Solomon, S. & Greenberg, J. (2015). Thirty Years of Terror

Management Theory: From Genesis to Revelation. In J. M. Olson & M. P. Zarna (Eds). Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 52, 1-70. 

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