Respect is a bipolar relational concept
describing a person’s social status and likeability within a social group.
Groups vary in size. Groups may be small such as family members, a classroom, or a department
at work. And groups may be as large as a university, professional association, multinational
corporation, or nation.
Respect is a bipolar concept. The nature of respect is evident in the anchor words we use to
describe level of respect as high or low. Not surprisingly, level
of respect varies based on the perception group members have of the words and
deeds of another group member. Of course, different people have may different
opinions regarding the level of respect that should be accorded to a group
member.
Social status is linked to a group’s values. Groups have different qualities that they highly value such as
loyalty, kindness, wealth, fitness, attractiveness, musical talent, writing
ability, and so forth. People who have high levels of several values gain
higher status, which is an aspect of respect. Sometimes the social status is
evident in observable ways such as clothing, medals, places to sit at a
meeting, and so forth. In some cultures, social status along with respectful
treatment can be purchased such as buying a first-class plane ticket.
Likeability refers
to personal qualities, which are highly valued within a group. People who
appear cheerful, interested, respectful of others, sincere, and so forth get
high respect. Physically attractive people often get high respect evident by
people wanting to spend more time with them.
Different groups may hold competing
values. For example, high levels of wealth are
highly valued in many western cultures. However, a poor person who has given
her life to helping the poor can also be regarded with a high level of respect.
Loss of respect. Loss of respect happens when there is evidence of a serious breach
of a group’s values. Groups that value freedom from sexual harassment will
quickly devalue the respect status of the person who harasses. When it comes to
moral violations, one powerful driver of disrespect is the emotion of
disgust. Disgust is often, but not exclusively, linked to socially
unacceptable sexual behavior.
Respect for the office. In western cultures, people are expected to treat people holding certain
positions with culturally defined ways of showing respect. When an officeholder
has behaved disrespectfully, members are expected to show respect to the
position even if they consider the officeholder as a person who does not
deserve respect. This can happen with high level political leaders like
presidents and prime ministers.
Respect and Virtues. In some groups, the possession of certain traditional virtues gain high
levels of respect. In some groups, people feel conflicted about the virtues.
For example, self-confident leaders may border on being arrogant and violate a
value of humility.
For an application of respect to parenting and teaching, see Discipline with Respect.
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